Forbes Flash: Mario No Longer Among World's Richest Fictional Characters

Mustachioed Italian plumber lost most of personal wealth in divorce settlement with ex-wife Princess Peach. Now has less than 50 gold coins, only one extra life. Forced to pick up odd jobs to make ends meet, including boxing referee, party planner, golf pro. Nonetheless, remains characteristically upbeat about his change of fortune. Says Mario, enthused about returning to the singles scene, “Woohoo! It’s-a me, Mario!”

In case you wanted to know what wholesome Wall Street nerds spend their time reading as the year draws to a close, it’s stuff like this. Enjoy.