I wish I could write ad-copy as a freelancer.
Wearing nice shoes and belts are essential to the modern man-about-town. Lady-wise it’s helpful. But don’t you need something else to let her know how sophisticated you are? That’s where Kenneth Cole comes in with the Metallic Leather Condom Holder.
She’ll see the care you take to protect your jimmy hats just like you’ll take care of her. The shiny armor-like texture will evoke images of courtly love as you grab your stereo remote and put on some John Mayer jams. She’ll tip her head back and smell the full 4 fluid ounces of Drakkar Noir you put on, totally in love with your striped shirt. You’re thinking of buying a boat this year!