always on shuffle

Every morning I wake up with a song in my head — a different song, a song of the day. It could be anything. This morning, for instance, it was “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off” — you know, “You say toMAYto and I say toMAHto.” Yesterday morning it was Beck’s “Nausea,” the day before that “Disarm,” by the Smashing Pumpkins. Other recent features have been the one and only hit by Primitive Radio Gods and Procol Harum’s “Conquistador.” (Where the hell did that come from?) Sometimes it’s even a hymn.

I cannot discern any pattern — it has nothing to do with what I’ve been listening to lately, I know that much, nor do I get to hear songs I especially like. (Exhibit A: “Conquistador.”) And never, ever do I get the same song two days in a row. In fact, I am not aware that the playlist has ever repeated itself, though (since this has been going on for decades now) I’m sure it must have. When I got my first iPod — the first iPod — and noticed the shuffle feature I thought Apple was stealing ideas from my brain.

Almost as long as this has been happening I have been debating whether to document my own internal Song of the Day, but I never have. This is pure superstition — I’m afraid that if I start writing them all down they’ll stop coming. And I like finding out what my brain is going to serve up each morning.