Won't You Be My Boo?

Of all the indignities singing sensation Ashley Alexandra Dupré has been through this week, surely the worst is this “cold diss” from The New York Times:

On the Web page is a recording of what she describes as her latest track, “What We Want,” a hip-hop-inflected rhythm-and-blues tune that asks, “Can you handle me, boy?” and uses some dated slang, calling someone her “boo.”

I can’t help but wonder about the highly advanced slang making its way around the Times, e.g., using the term Snuffleupagus to refer to one’s personal firearm.

Serge Kovaleski: Sup Urbina!

Ian Urbina: Sup fool!

Serge: Hey yo, check this new rhyme. It’s ill. (Clears throat.)

Sup boo, I’m poppin’ you too, too slow, on qualuudes, and I’m gonna stay lewd, play lutes, lace my boots and step on your two shoes, ‘cause that’s the way Toucans do, ain’t that true? I’m tellin’ you, I’m Client 10, my hoes seven diamonds — I’m not just rhymin’, I’m mimin’, wearin’ white paint on my grill — even with a beret and striped shirt, I still keeps it real, peace.

Ian: Gimme the beat, gimme the beat. (Clears throat.)

Ahuh, check it, I got one wonton for your mind, here’s rhyme, check the method, much better than the average record, record-breaking, booties be shakin’ for the number one stunna, New York Times doin’ lines with Jayson, chasin’ stories, whether real or fake, breakin’ new news about Eliot’s criminal dates, I’ve got the tapes, he the client, always lyin’, prosecutin’ that booty, ya’ll know Kristen’s a cutie, but Serge, yo, you know your slang’s tired — I haven’t heard “boo” since the first season of The Wire, peace.

I have to say, I’m pretty sure Ian Urbina won this round. But did he have to drag Ms. Dupré into his small-minded slang war?