El Disastre

In driving excitement news, the Cheeto of automobiles has returned. Kind of.

“El Camino is the one name I wouldn’t put on that vehicle,” said Ed Welburn, GM’s vice president of design, insisting that the new Pontiac, with its long hood hiding a powerful V-8 engine and its short, open bed in the back, has nothing to do with the El Camino.

GM’s vice chairman and product maven, Bob Lutz, disagreed. “El Camino would be my personal choice,” he said. “It has name recognition.”

Rapper 50 Cent, who was hired by GM to introduce the vehicle, had a different idea. “We should call it the Curtis,” he said, perhaps because his real name is Curtis Jackson.

Ay carumba. Pontiac has had the pole position on GM’s highway to hell for years, but this is ridiculous. Not even Oprah could give away this hose beast. For the love of God, look at the thing. It’s a Subaru Baja dressed up for Halloween as Batman. Clooney Batman.