And Now, A Question of Etiquette
A question for the readers: When at a small, dingy rock venue — I’m specifically thinking of sub-200-guest rooms like DC9 or the Black Cat’s backstage, but also slightly larger places like the Rock and Roll Hotel as well — is it rude to carry on a conversation during a loud, boisterous rock show? I ask because I never thought it was, rock clubs typically being both loud and freewheeling, but I can see how it might be perceived that way. I can especially see it because last night, while catching the Dirty Projectors’ mesmerizing set at the Black Cat’s backstage, a friend and I were asked, rather sharply, to hush (his exact words were, “Hey. Do you mind?” and the tone was somewhere between crotchety bookstore owner and snooty hipster). I suppose I’d be more inclined to sympathize were the band quiet and low-key, or were the room completely packed, thus making moving around (and away) easier. But neither were the case. I mean, it’s a loud, unruly bar. You’re not supposed to talk?
If we’re talking about the main act, then I think you should at least pretend like you care. I would certainly be annoyed if I came to see a band I liked and people were yelling at each other while the band was performing.
If you don’t want to watch/listen to the band then why did you even come? There are plenty of bars where you can talk. Going to a show and not paying attention is one of the more annoying hipster habits I know of.
However if we are talking about an opening act then whatever… have sex on the floor if you want to.
— J.W. Hamner · Apr 8, 12:32 PM · #
Dude.
You were shushed at a rock show. The problem is most decidedly NOT you.
— Matt Frost · Apr 8, 12:55 PM · #
Eh, depends on the type of rock and also where you are. Do not do this standing in the middle of the crowd.
— Derek · Apr 8, 01:23 PM · #
I dunno. I kibbitzed with my wife under the chuppah while the rabbi was talking. I’m also the guy who shouts out requests at the opera. Probably not the right guy to answer this question.
— Noah Millman · Apr 8, 01:46 PM · #
Matt, thank you for validating me. As my friend pointed out, the guy who did it didn’t seem to be having a good time.
Derek, we were standing near the back (not along the wall, but past the point where the crowd started to thin).
J.W., I was there to see the band! They were awesome — and I listened intently most of the time. But, you know, shows are social experiences, and a comment about the band brought a story to my friend’s mind, and it took a few minutes for her to finish it.
Noah, you seem like exactly the right guy to ask.
— Peter Suderman · Apr 8, 02:15 PM · #
Was the guy who interrupted wearing oh-so-tight cigarette jeans and and an Urban Outfitters-esque flannel shirt? If so, the correct response would have been to immediately punch him in the face.
In all seriousness, doesn’t everyone talk during a band’s set? The Dirty Projectors aren’t exactly a sedate group, either . . .
— Will · Apr 8, 03:17 PM · #
Huh. The responses surprise me. I have never felt the need to talk during a show… and can’t say I’ve ever noticed widespread conversations during shows. Shows I go to tend to be too loud for talking, but YMMV. I go to shows for the music, not socializing (and have gone to many shows on my own over the years).
To me it’s worse than talking during a movie, since the tickets cost more and the it could be a year or more before the next opportunity to see a particular band comes around. The story can’t wait until after the show? Or you couldn’t make your way over to the bar or to the back for retelling?
At the same time I have to admit that shushing somebody is pretty lame, and I would probably just try to move away from you if you were distracting me from the music.
— J.W. Hamner · Apr 8, 05:05 PM · #