The Perils of Friending Strangers
Last year, I wrote a short article on my Facebook friending approach — my general rule of thumb is to avoid friending strangers, and to have some substantive exchange with would-be friends before accepting or making a request. But I recently relaxed my rule when some random person friended me because I had assumed I had met and forgotten him. We had many mutual friends. I sent a message to the effect of, “Hey, have we met?” And he referenced having seen a play I was in as a college sophomore. Fair enough. Substantive connection. Today, however, I found that he had insulted one of my good friends on my Facebook wall. Classy move. I deleted and defriended in that order. This is all pretty juvenile, I realize, but I was mildly enraged by this, as the friend in question is an unusually cool dude.
Please don’t unbefriend me despite our never having met. I enjoy reading your columns and watching your videos and being able to comment on your Wall. Also, I swear that <i>GNP</i> is somewhere on my reading list!
— Nathan P. Origer · Jul 2, 06:04 PM · #
No need to worry! Avid TAS readers are rare and eminently friendable.
— Reihan · Jul 2, 07:29 PM · #
People who knew me in high school and college (but whom I have little or no memory of) have “friended” me and I say yes to avoid seeming rude. But I always feel a little weird, as if I’ve just loaned money to someone on the street at random.
— Simon Crowe · Jul 3, 12:52 AM · #
Even though I wouldn’t call you a stranger, I hope I’ve been a passable Facebook friend.
Indeed friending strangers is a risky task. A couple months ago I defriended something south of 50 people I didn’t know.
— PEG · Jul 3, 11:55 AM · #
I friended Reihan after confusing him with Razib from GNXP. Didn’t de-friend him since it’s nice to know there’s another South Asian Muslim out there with an interest in conservatism. Also his entries on FriendFeed are consistently entertaining.
— Ali Choudhury · Jul 4, 02:50 PM · #