His Hair Was Perfect

Unable to successfully carry off Scarlett Johansssonnnn (a prospect stll less discomfiting, in some circles, than the traditional lesbo action), Benicio del Toro is set to steal hearts as the newest, most believable Wolf Man. Strangely enough, the studio consensus held that he would have to be made up for the role, though acrimony persists on the subject of any necessary weight gain…or loss.

None of which answers why in God’s name that Rum Diary adaptation continues to languish in development hell — setting aside a general confusion and exhaustion over the guilt trip Hunter Thompson’s faded legacy places over liberaltarians everywhere.