We don’t know who invented the wheel. We do, however, know who invented the doner kebab, an invention of similarly epochal significance. Rest in peace, dear sir. I can’t say I’m the world’s foremost lover of the doner kebab. And though I don’t know if Mahmut Aygün was a pious Muslim, I am well aware of the fact that he enabled the drunken reveling of millions of hoodlums, to which I can only say, “Hey, I only serve them the kebabs.” Because I have all kinds of restaurant schemes myself — I dream of one day helping some visionary run a Naan and Beyond empire, if only as a clock-wearing “hype man”; I also remember this highly advanced dirty rice and risotto concept, but I’m keeping that one close to the vest — I have a lot of admiration for the people who fill our bellies with greasy treats.
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