The Doner Kebab Man Has Died

We don’t know who invented the wheel. We do, however, know who invented the doner kebab, an invention of similarly epochal significance. Rest in peace, dear sir. I can’t say I’m the world’s foremost lover of the doner kebab. And though I don’t know if Mahmut Aygün was a pious Muslim, I am well aware of the fact that he enabled the drunken reveling of millions of hoodlums, to which I can only say, “Hey, I only serve them the kebabs.” Because I have all kinds of restaurant schemes myself — I dream of one day helping some visionary run a Naan and Beyond empire, if only as a clock-wearing “hype man”; I also remember this highly advanced dirty rice and risotto concept, but I’m keeping that one close to the vest — I have a lot of admiration for the people who fill our bellies with greasy treats.