The Speech

Um. I obviously disagree with a lot of the policies. But is it just me or was that pretty good? This is going to be a long four eight years. I just hope that Jindal starts drinking egg yolks and running up and down the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, assuming Pennsylvania remains a swing state.

I was talking to a friend of mine earlier this evening over who calls Barack Obama “Barry.” He told me that this was, in his experience, a conservative affectation. In my more limited experience, it is a wry-young-people phenomenon, e.g., liberal youths asking, “Yo, where’s my maglev, Barry?,” etc. I have to say, I like this generation, man. (Are we up to Z? Do we then switch to alphanumeric generations, like 1A?) I do feel bad about my culpability in causing an economic depression. Sorry guys. I blame the boomers. Here’s what happened, as Anya Kamenetz ably argues in Generation Debt: you guys were educated for free and sponged off your flinty veteran-Friedan-y parents while doing drugs and causing mayhem. Now you’ve obliterated Earth. I am full of bitterness. Oh, I’ll reform your entitlements, alright!

Below you’ll find Generation Z “holding it down.”

Also, I have to point you in this direction — run, don’t walk!