Top Chef Has Spoiled My Life and My World
I am deeply saddened, and angered, by this news.
I’ve been meaning to write a post for weeks now on how much I hate Hosea Rosenberg. Now he’s won the whole damn thing.
Okay. Deep breath.
Okay.
I still haven’t seen the episode — I watch it via iTunes — but my friend, a food blogger, broke the news. I don’t want to cry. I want to plunge a knife into my heart.
Many moons ago, Hosea mislaid his pork. The gang rallied around and saved his pork, and he won the elimination challenge. And you know who helped rather a lot? Stefan. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was the “12 Days of Christmas Episode.” Hosea was throwing a fit, as always. He is a punk. It’s a fact.
Carla said,
Everyone is chipping in together to make these two people shine. It was an organic thing that happens in the kitchen where we’re like, you have to go through that fire and you have to make it happen. There’s no way that their dishes are going to be crap
I love that woman. I deeply, deeply love her — for her decency, warmth, and intelligence, and also for her self-possession and confidence. I want every child to look to her as an example of human excellence.
And here’s Stefan:
That’s what people do in the kitchen. You know, if you have a little bit of respect for yourself, you help people. It doesn’t matter if it’s your worst enemy or not. What does it do any good to me if Radhika doesn’t have her duck and be judged by what? No. If I win this competition, I want to win this fair-square.
Carla, I badly wanted you to win. You or Stefan. Not Hosea. Not Hosea. Note Stefan’s remarks. Then note how Hosea reacted when Stefan won a quickfire challenge that involved using an artichoke that Hosea wasn’t using. Hosea whined about how he should have denied Stefan the artichoke. Classy. Very classy. And he kept saying things like this. He bristled at the fact that Stefan had prepared eel before, as if this were somehow unfair. Constant, constant whining and sniping.
Stefan is tough. He was cocky. But at the last Judge’s Table, he said, straight up, I’m 36 — if I win, I win. If I lose, I lose. The judges found this arrogant. You know what it is? It’s called having perspective. There is no question in my mind that Stefan can run circles around Hosea. This was a sham — an utter sham.
Leah is twice the chef Hosea will ever be. Ariane is three times the chef Leah will ever be. My goodness, this is a dark turn in our still unfolding national story.
Hosea represents everything that is wrong with modern America: the sense of entitlement, the instinctive nativism, the smarmy passivity. Notice how “awkward” he found it when Leah returned to the program, to have a second chance at making it to the finals. Some friend.
Yes, Stefan was a bit of a bastard — but there was sincerity and integrity in his bastardness. He talked trash all the time, though note that he didn’t talk trash to Carla or Leah or Ariane or Jamie. He razzed Fabio, and Fabio razzed him back. Thin-skinned Hosea took it personally. He lashed out. He plotted his revenge. Stefan made him feel small, and so Hosea, who at one point noted that he was the last American male on the program — I’m interested in how quickly Hosea made this rhetorical move, and how quickly he translated his feelings of inadequacy into anti-European, ostensibly anti-elitist sentiment, though to me Fabio and Stefan seemed like scrappy immigrants who worked themselves to the bone while Hosea struck me as an entitled brat — whined constantly.
I would trade 300 million Hoseas for one Carla, or even one Stefan.
Carla was a reassuring presence, who consoled near-losers and losers at every turn. She wanted to win, she wanted the recognition — but she didn’t want to lose sight of what mattered most. Carla knew when her dishes went wrong, but she still wanted to “bring the love.” Hosea never “brought the love.” He brought bitterness and easy contempt, and a wounded, undeserved pride. This is the kind of guy who joins an extremist political movement that targets foreigners and members of middleman minorities — how dare Stefan come to my country and actually know how to prepare eel. How dare he.
I disliked Stefan at first, but his skills were undeniable. I only wish Stefan and Carla and Jamie and Ariane and all the rest had allowed Hosea to sit there and compete with his rotting, rancid pork.
Seriously, fucking Hosea? That’s absolutely, no doubt about it rewarding mediocrity. “This guy’s never great, he’s never daring, he never takes risks, he’s just constantly pretty good. Give him the crown!”
And he’s such a choch. God. I’ll be pissed off for days.
— Freddie · Feb 26, 06:07 AM · #
Mmm. You guys do know that it’s at least ostensibly a <i>cooking</i> competition, don’t you? And not a contest for most admirable personality? And, as a technical but important point, that the rules of the game provide for a round-by-round tournemant, where the judging for each round is based only on that round’s cooking performance?
Do you guys get upset if the nicest baseball player isn’t on the winning team?
— Christopher M · Feb 26, 06:53 AM · #
Agreed with Christopher M. I disagree with Reihan’s characterization of Hosea and Stefan – Stefan was overconfident in the last few episodes of the show, and it showed – but even if I didn’t, Hosea played the game the best and deserved to win.
Of course, Top Chef could be set up to reward actual cooking creativity – to give the highest recognition to those who produce the best dishes over the whole series, even if their experimentation or missteps occasionally produce a few duds, but that’d kill the one elimination per show rule, and I don’t see that going away anytime soon.
Any bets on where next season’ll be located?
— Chris · Feb 26, 07:34 AM · #
I don’t care that he’s a dick. I care that he produces “good enough” food week after week, never sticking his neck out, and was rewarded for that timidity with the victory.
— Freddie · Feb 26, 07:43 AM · #
I cannot believe WHORE-sea won! He is such a whiny little douche. All he did all season long was complain about his “nemesis” Stefan. Everyone else was busy cooking instead. Maybe he also made out with the judges one drunken night on the couch because nothing else explains why this cry baby hack won over either one of the other 2 still standing. I would have been happy with either Stefan or Carla. Both were great. I am so disappointed.
— Bazzie · Feb 26, 08:05 AM · #
Hosea’s obsession with Stefan was a reflection of his petty, insecure persona. I found him very annoying and pathetic. The fact that he won was a fluke. Stefan and Leah were BOTH BETTER cooks. They just fell short on the final showdown. Its sad really, that most immature, simple minded childish chef won the whole shebang. On the contrary, Stefan lost, but he lost with class and integrity.
— Franco · Feb 26, 08:11 AM · #
In the text message poll Bravo was running during the finale, Carla pulled down 2/3 of the “Who should be Top Chef” vote even though anyone paying attention to the episode could see it wasn’t going to happen.
— Simon Crowe · Feb 26, 02:20 PM · #
Seriously, I feel like all the time I spent watching that show this season was a waste now. Which is a shame, because it was setting up to be my favorite season yet. Stefan was consistently the better chef. And I’m still not sure how Hosea wasn’t booted for his Le Bernadin fiasco – the guy did nothing but brag about how well he cooks fish, and he winds up not only getting the seasoning wrong but also overcooking the fish.
Anywho, this post exactly sums up my feeling about the finale – especially the part about Hosea representing everything that is wrong with America.
— Mark Thompson · Feb 26, 04:14 PM · #
AGH! Please, next time, type “SPOILER ALERT” at the beginning of your post. I’ve not watched my recorded episode and now, sob snurfle, I KNOW WHO WON.
Auuuugghhhhh………..
— Maureen Ogle · Feb 26, 07:21 PM · #
And now that my life is ruined, a substantive reply:
“But at the last Judge’s Table, he said, straight up, I’m 36 — if I win, I win. If I lose, I lose. The judges found this arrogant. You know what it is? It’s called having perspective. “
This is absolutely true and the judges know very well that it’s true, but their job isn’t really to pick the better man, or even the better chef. Of course merit is important. . otherwise the show is an obvious farce. But they’d much rather pick someone who’ll squeal and declare that it’s the most important thing that’s ever happened to him than someone who has perspective, because it’s better television and reinforces the notion Top Chef is the greatest prize that a human being can win, which in turn betters their ratings.
— sidereal · Feb 26, 08:47 PM · #
The thing about Top Chef is that they judge meal by meal. There’s no way Hosea or Ilan should ever have gotten Top Chef, except that they happened to make it to the finale, happened to have a good night, and that their nemesises (si?) happened to have a bad night.
Sure, Marcel and Stephan can outcook Ilan and Hosea three nights out of four, and I’m very disappointed that they didn’t paste those two guys in the finale, but that’s why they play the games. (If Top Chef took the whole season into account, the finale would often be basically decided before it starts).
On the second point, I agree that Hosea’s basically a jerk, but since Stephan spent the whole season basically needling him, Stephan has to take some responsibility for the jerkiness too.
— J Mann · Feb 26, 10:56 PM · #
Yep, I flipped out when he won. I’ll never watch the show again.. The judges fucked up.. and what the hell does Padma know about cuisine anyway?
— Marshall · Feb 26, 11:54 PM · #
My left-leaning wife is a big fan of all the Bravo competition shows, and especially Top Chef. She has been a little confused by the pleasure I’ve been taking in reading and commenting here at TAS, so it was with great pleasure that I read her exact sentiments about last night’s results, and then forwarded her the URL.
For myself, I have a hard time seeing how people get so worked up and have such strong opinions about a food competition presented on TV. Being more than a little aware of how producers can shall we say “shift emphasis” I am astonished and admiring of this show’s ability to engender such strong audience reaction when the audience cannot even taste or smell the food.
Anyway, about 4 minutes after I sent off teh URL, my wife came stomping out of her office; half mad half laughing, “I may not agree with anything else on their website, but damn straight. Hozea is a putz.”
Also, we codified our differences on non-profits. My wife is willing to let all your sorry ass think tank idea advocacy industry fools have your tax free money so long as it keeps the koalas, panda, and whales on the gravy train.
Conversely, I am willing to let Peter & Co continue to suck on the government tit so long as they have to wear funny hats and call what they do religion.
— Tony Comstock · Feb 27, 12:12 AM · #
The fact that Stefan’s an asshole should probably come up, too? And Leah is a better chef than Hosea? Really? Were we watching the same show?
But that last comment is inane, right? How the hell can we actually say who was the better chef? Did any of us taste the food? All we know is that the producers cut and pasted video footage so that certain people looked “strong” and certain people looked “weak” and “whiny” etc etc, probably ignoring a lot of other comments/scenes that portrayed them in other lights, because they want story. And presumably, Hosea’s food was in actuality pretty damn good at the end.
Also, if there was one person who ruined the season, it was that English judge. God, he was just mean for the sake of being mean.
And goddammit! I’m on my SIXTH try for this goddamn captcha. How the hell am I supposed to post??
— kid destroyer · Feb 28, 01:28 AM · #
Stephan lost because he pooched the last course.
He had the best main (the best dish of the night), but his dessert wasn’t enough to carry him over the top.
Carla lost because she decided to experiment with techniques she hadn’t mastered.
Hosea did enough to be near the top, and was there when the better chefs slipped.
The fact he was a whiner with an oversized ego didn’t matter to the cooking— he peaked on the day (the fianle was the only time he managed to prepare fish complently, for example.
— jamie_2002 · Feb 28, 02:04 AM · #
“Yep, I flipped out when he won. I’ll never watch the show again.. The judges fucked up.. and what the hell does Padma know about cuisine anyway?” Pretty much sums it up.
And I agree about Ilan or w/e. He was a terrible chef and competetor. Stefan loosing is just another reason I will not watch Top Chef anymore. At least Toby Young defended Stefan. I hope he doesn’t come back as a judge to prove a point, that he also thinks TC is bullshit.
— lizzy · Feb 28, 02:35 AM · #
Jeez, I wonder if people who are outraged about whiny Hosea winning had the integrity to stop watching the show when Marcel was assaulted and none of the people who assaulted him got into trouble? That seems like a bigger deal to me than a little whining.
We don’t even know what really goes on, because the editors want to be the ones to tell you what to think about the contestants. We don’t really know that all that trash talking was personal, or taken personally. Or how much the producers ginned up and encouraged that trash talking between Hosea and Stefan.
And it’s kind of hard to truly determine who is the better chef when you haven’t tasted anything they’ve cooked. I loved Carla, and I wanted her to win because of that, but the chef whose food I wanted to taste was Jamie’s, and she didn’t even make it into the finals.
— maurinsky · Feb 28, 06:04 AM · #
Oh all you Hosea-won-by-merit losers are forgetting how much Tom Colicchio was a booster of Hosea! Did anyone notice how Toby’s criticisms got less and less airtime (who was, by the way, introduced as a counterweight to Tom), how Tom was quietly becoming the most influential voice at the judge’s table… and… how much Tom personally disliked Stefan? The final episode seemed to me distinctly less fun than the other episodes and not just because of Carla’s tragic mistakes: the episode’s political subtexts upturned the ending. By the third to last episode, Tom called Stefan ‘arrogant’ on the show, but in a tone that implied something of a personal rather than culinary distaste. By the final two episodes, Tom could only grudgingly concede that Stefan was a good cook and produced mind-blowing food, while constantly pushing Hosea. Tom and Hosea hated Stefan; and it’s such a shame to see this season close with these two American white chefs ganging up on the more feminine, more naturally talented European chef, who they grew up admiring, emulating, but ultimately detesting.
— toptragedy · Feb 28, 06:09 AM · #
Um, Cliff got kicked off the show.
— Chris Conway · Feb 28, 06:06 PM · #
The final episode is worth watching for how Stefan reacts to Carla’s tears! OMG that was great…and Hoseda just stood there. What a jerk he was/is.
— Chester · Feb 28, 09:52 PM · #
That’s how I felt after watching the first Survivor…the biggest, self-serving asshole who happened to be gay (that had absolutely nothing with my feelings about him!) won, and after that I never wanted to watch it again…
— wagonjak · Mar 1, 08:54 PM · #
Up until the last couple weeks Stefan had a headlock on the competition. He won challenge after challenge and was clearly the most accomplished chef on the show. But he started coasting and other chefs closed the gap. Carla came out of nowhere and charged to the finals, and Hosea—while clearly outgunned, stayed close enough to make it to the end to be there when Stephan stumbled and Carla eliminated herself by cooking her sous chef’s meal in the finale.
Stefan probably should have gone home instead of Fabio the week before.
Jamie was good enough and should have made the final four, but Leah? She stuck around for WEEKS longer than she deserved from what I saw.
— Mr Furious · Mar 2, 06:37 AM · #
I thought Stephan offered a very perceptive analysis of Leah when she came back at the beginning of the finale. Most of the time, Leah had no idea what she was cooking until she finished, and quite a few of those times, she made something that came out at or near the top. Leah’s got good instincts, but needs some more experience and discipline.
— J Mann · Mar 3, 04:28 PM · #