Things, Darnedest, Said By Kids
Upon spotting me kissing my wife, my son clears his throat.
“Do you take this woman to be your awful wedded wife? And do you take this man to be your awful wedded husband? You may now kiss the bride!”
I suppose we both are, but nonetheless I suppose I do, and I suppose she does, and indeed I may. Now go play, kid.
So some time back we’re having kind of a forage-y, liberal wussy elite dinner: some cheeses, deep fried olives, hummus and a baguette, that kind of thing. Maybe wine and some jazz to conceal the Comintern’s soothing instructions from prying ears.
Anyway: my five year old declares her love of the cheeses and and her fascination that the chevrie (which she’s always liked: yep, Reds, I tell ya) is made from goat milk. I say, y’know, the feta’s made with sheep’s milk. Since one of my hobbies is telling outrageous lies to my child, she’s suspicious, but checks it out with my wife — who is really a humorless killjoy inasmuch as this hobby is concerned — and accepts the new reality.
The daughter then goes on a jag about the nutritive benefits of the foods, which is something she’s been into lately because they do it I think in school, and she uses it to justify why she should be given what she wants to eat, which isn’t a bad idea except she’s at a stage where what she wants to make an appeal for is often, really, candy, so it doesn’t work so well. Anyway, this little speech is about the wonders of calcium for the bones and teeth, and how it’s in milk, and cheese, and anything made from milk, like yogurt, and ice cream (you can see she’s thinking ahead). But then quite seriously she informs me that the chevrie doesn’t, in fact, have calcium. I’m perplexed because she likes the stuff, and ask why not.
“It’s got goatsium,” she replies.
— Sanjay · Apr 23, 02:45 PM · #