Department of Bad Comparisons
Apparently, some intrepid team of Hollywood whizzes is planning to remake the 1993 Sly Stallone-on-a-mountain-vs-terrorists actioner, Cliffhanger. Here’s what producer Neal Moritz says about his approach:
“Just as they rebooted ‘Star Trek,’ we’re going to do the same with ‘Cliffhanger,’ “ said Moritz, who will produce. Unlike the original, where Italy stood in for the Colorado Rockies, the new redo looks set to feature multiple cliff-face locations.
Just like! Really!
I propose a ban, starting immediately, on explaining cinematic remakes by comparing them to Batman Begins, Casino Royale, or Star Trek. No more! Your grim, somber repackaging of a fondly remembered but not terribly influential kitschy cult property, awesomely awesome as it may be, grimly grim as you may make it, does not compare to the cultural influence of Batman, James Bond, or Captain Kirk. I’m sure Predators will be bloody and wonderful. And that new Robocop too! But let’s not kid ourselves, please?
(And while I’m imposing rules on speech, let me also suggest we impose a hefty fine on anyone who refers to the Internet, or any related technology, using the phrase “the Wild West.”)
It’s high time for a grittier, darker Ernest series.
— Matt Frost · May 15, 09:30 AM · #
I need some sheet iron for my stove pipe.
— Tony Comstock · May 15, 10:42 AM · #
“It’s high time for a grittier, darker Ernest series.”
…starring Vinny Chase.
— Brad · May 15, 02:47 PM · #
Because Cliffhanger has such a fanbase… Who is giving these idiots money, and can I have some for my A-Team reboot script instead?
— James F. Elliott · May 15, 06:21 PM · #
I want to see a remake of Airwolf.
— Sargent · May 15, 06:53 PM · #
Follow my leader.
— Tony Comstock · May 15, 08:35 PM · #
Personally, I can’t wait for “Point Break II.”
— Stuart Buck · May 15, 10:23 PM · #
I felt a small explosion go off in my head when I heard Will Smith was remaking Karate Kid with his son in the lead role.
— Ali Choudhury · May 16, 06:06 PM · #