In other news, I’m waiting in a hotel lobby for transport to the airport, which will arrive in an hour. I can thus catch up on vitally important 7 AM email from Amazon.com, including this recommendation for Earth 2012: Time of the Awakening Soul by Aurora Juliana Ariel PhD.
Aurora Juliana Ariel PhD’s latest release in the Award Winning Earth 2012 Series… The Earth 2012 Saga continues with a Journey into the Miraculous as millions of Awakening Souls alter the course of Earth’s Destiny. Weaving a prophetic vision of an Illumined Future, stories of extraordinary encounters, divine visitations, angelic intervention, healing by dolphins and more, reveal the extraordinary time we are in. While dire potentials loom on our horizon and many people are in the throes of darkness and despair, Dr. Ariel believes there is an unseen hand assisting us to move into an enlightened future. She unveils the new emerging culture largely responsible for this change and breaks the secret code to their mysterious origin. Who are these 21st Century Visionaries? Why have they embodied on earth at this historic time? Take the test to find out if you are one of them. Learn how you can fulfill your highest destiny potential, and play your unique role in the coming times.
Amazon.com has me pegged.
This might be the right time to acknowledge that I am in fact a 21st Century Visionary. Why am I embodied on earth at this historic time? Honestly, I made a wrong turn at the Crab Nebula. My plan was to be embodied on a Class M planet 12 parsecs from Glab-Glub, home of my “peoples.” Another one of my “peoples,” oddly enough, is Nia Peeples. Actually, that’s not true. She’s definitely one of you Earth People, as described in the song “Earth People.”
Yeah, things are pretty wild on my planet, which is half-Bengali and half-Wookie. The Bengalis tended to dominate the planetary squash championships, which led to a lot of tension and resentment. I had a particularly difficult time, as my extreme hairiness meant that I occupied a liminal space between the Bengali and Wookie communities. I would also wear nothing but a bandolier full of laser cartridges for my crossbow, which scandalized the local Bengali community, which, on that planet at least, preferred wearing pants. My time on Glab-Glub was not entirely happy.
So you can see why being embodied on earth was, despite the inevitable frustration with your oppressive sartorial demands, a happy outcome. And that’s why, in my infinite generosity, I have decided to lead you beyond your dark potentials to the sunlit uplands of the enlightened future, in which all humans will roam pantless and bandoliered, communicating only in indecipherable grunts.
Actually, that would be terrible.