This popped up in the advertisement section of my Facebook account tonight:
How To Be A Groom
When you hear the two words “wedding planning,” you want to vomit. We get it. Check out ThePlunge.com. Written by men, for men.
I’ll admit, I haven’t always been the most helpful wedding-planning partner, and I’ve certainly stressed about the planning time-commitment and the potential expense from time to time — but I don’t think any of it has ever caused me to want to spew the contents of our last caterer-tasting out the wrong end. That men, in general, are less likely to be involved and/or interested in every detail of planning a modern wedding strikes me as an assumption that’s probably true. But it also strikes me that that’s a result of the way weddings are pitched as feminine affairs (check out the bridal section of a Barnes and Noble magazine rack — how many of the magazines are targeted at men?) and that many men — myself included, on occasion, unfortunately — simply decide to let the brunt of the planning fall on the woman for no reason other than that we can.
Just because this is true, however, doesn’t mean we should embrace it, which is what this ad seems to be doing. Part of that probably entails lazy dudes (again, like me) taking a more active role in wedding planning. It may also mean slowly making weddings and wedding-culture slightly more masculine in character, or (more likely) at least edge them a bit closer to gender neutrality. No, I don’t have a mechanism in mind to do this, much less any particular idea what such a wedding would look like. But buying into the idea that men, simply by virtue of being male, feel like tossing their cookies when the words “wedding planning” come up probably isn’t the way to do it.
Indeed, the whole concept seems odd to me. The advertised site, seems rather misguided — a sort of Maxim-light online lad-mag wedding special edition. Given that most engagements last roughly a year, give or take, there can’t be that many grooms really on the hunt for advice about bachelor party ethics. And since the starting assumption of the marketing for the site assumes that guys hate thinking about weddings, what’s the point? Good sales pitches don’t generally start by telling their audience that engaging* with their products might make them want to puke.
*Pun intended? You decide!