somewhere i have never traveled, gladly beyond any experience, the massachusetts election results prove everything i've been saying all along

In the annals of bullshit, analysis of what Massachusetts voters “meant” by electing Scott Brown to the Senate must be breaking stank and volume records faster than the resurrected bodies of every Manolete kill that time God confined them to the same corral. Before it’s all over, we’re going to need Hercules, a four-news-cycle supply of whatever Mark McGwire was taking, and the largest shovel available in the Bay State (preferably one used in the Big Dig to remind us that political events there always proceed based on rational calculations by informed voters).

It is particularly amusing to see folks call the outcome stunning in one breath and aver in the next that they can explain why it happened mere hours after the fact, without any new data save the result. This is especially grating when it’s so obvious that the election turned on all the issues that were most important to me, that the outcome so clearly vindicates my world view, and that the wisest course in light of the results is for both parties to do exactly what I’ve been advocating for all along.

Only a partisan hack could deny that all aspects of this election bolstering my analysis happened to be most significant, whereas factors that cut against my thesis were ultimately irrelevant to the outcome. Let this be a lesson to my political and ideological opponents in future contested elections — insofar as it is advantages my policy preferences, what happened in Massachusetts is a harbinger of things to come in the 2010 midterms, and even in 2012. Meanwhile all precedents seemingly at odds with my national political proclivities were unique, and should be ignored.