Very Brief Thoughts on Hollywood's Next Wave

Perhaps you’ve seen the new Vanity Fair spread on the next American heartthrobs. Below you’ll find some very brief thoughts, page by page.

Page 1.

Seyfried is a major talent. Skilled comedian, broad range, definitely holds her own on Big Love. Folk music — what kind? Answers to questions: mildly blah.

Roberts is a huge Lost fan. Also, she is from Rhinebeck, which I think of as a handsome hippie town, perhaps incorrectly. Both of these things lead me to root for her continued success.

When I think of Blake Lively, I think, “Blah Lively.” This doesn’t reflect well on me as a human being, I realize, but it’s not my fault she’s cast opposite Leighton Meester, who is a major talent.

Stewart is probably the best of these four. Foster-like, intensely serious. She has a long career ahead of her. I’ll note that she doesn’t fit in with the other three — her aesthetic clashes against theirs.

Page 2

I’m not sure McLovin has a future, though I certainly wish him well.

I can’t believe that Lisa Bonet’s daughter is now 20 years old. Kravitz makes me feel a thousand years old. And apparently she dated Ben Foster, who is my age. That is a scandal. I am frankly appalled.

Thirlby belongs on the first page. Her wattage is off the charts. Very funny in the arch way.

Page 3

I’m a mild Badgley fan and enjoyed his short-lived sitcom about traveling back to the mid-1980s. I’m also struck by the retro-ness of his musical tastes — I’m now so old that the music I listened to as an undergraduate now has a classic sheen.

Westwick is a star. I suspect he’ll do very well once Gossip Girl goes the way of the dodo.

Meester might be the best teen protagonist yet. Regrettably, she will only be able to play complicatedly devious and mean characters, as her face wears disdain extremely well. She’d be wasted on wan heroine roles.

As for Momsen, well, she was miscast. Someone was asleep at the switch. She’s not a convincing New Yorker, though she is convincingly whiny.

Page 4

Kat Dennings is clearly some kind of genius. She had the best answers of the bunch by far, e.g., Favorite movie?

“_Videodrome_. It’s a David Cronenberg movie with James Woods in it and Blondie [Deborah Harry], and it’s bananas.”

Anyone who ends a sentence with “it’s bananas” is tops in my book. Plus, she was excellent in Virgin and Charlie. Go Dennings! I understand she’s also a friend of novelist Andrea Seigel, another major talent. Simply put, Dennings is the bomb.

Page 5

Who are these Jonas Brothers?

Page 6

This page is the jam. I used to think Angarano was the poor man’s Shia. Turns out Shia is the poor man’s Angarano. I hope he boots Shia into oblivion. Brown seems perfectly solid. Parrish is excellent on Weeds — but he plays a punk. One wonders if he is in fact a punk. Also, he’s consistently outshined by Shane Botwin. That kid is bananas. Peck looks matinee-ready in this photo. Because he’s such a blank, I’m guessing he’ll land a lot of roles, many of the bland and blankish. Soon we’ll know if he’s a true talent or not. I’m not sure. I’ve never seen Summer Bishil before, but I am guardedly optimistic. Very pleased to see someone aiding Kravitz and Brown in brownifying the line-up.

Page 7

Jonah Hill name-checked Daniel Johnston! And Caribou! Hurray! Oh man, I am seriously blown away. Caribou is one of my favorite bands. Also, I hear he is physically tiny. Plump, but compact.

Hill is flanked by a couple of miscellaneous blondes, neither of whom approach Seyfried, who wins the blonde battle by a mile. GNXP recently featured a very GNXPish post about how brunettes are edging out the fair-haired in the sentiments of young men. I think the VF line-up is further evidence.