Everything About You Is Bad
What’s the worst Facebook app? Well, Sparkey seems to have infiltrated numerous profiles without anyone really understanding much about it, but aside from the influx of annoying updates, it seems mostly benign. It’s refrain can be summed up as: People want to date you! Okay, well, that’s a little awkward, but flattering, I suppose. Instead, my vote goes to Compare People. The idea itself, ranking people according to a variety of personal factors — a sort of multi-characteristic Hot or Not — is kind of objectionable. Yes, most of us make continual comparisons between people, but that doesn’t mean that much good will come of making those mental comparisons public.
More insidious, though, is that it mails your ranking changes to you a couple times a week. Maybe that’s fine if you’re awesome. But apparently I’m not, which leads me to what I suppose is the real root of my hatred for the app: I get a note every few days telling me my rankings have changed, and invariably, every single one of them has gone down. According to Facebook, I’ve been getting comparatively worse in every way since I signed up for this thing. I’m all for bursting the self-esteem bubble, but shooting notes to your customers telling them how much worse they’re getting — at least in comparison to everyone else — doesn’t seem like such a good business plan. Compare People, I declare you the worst among all Facebook apps. See how that feels?
Actually, the worst app on Facebook is “Owned”, a light-hearted app where you buy and sell people.
It’s great to see Facebook play tribute to the ancient and august institution of slavery.
— Christopher · Jul 22, 07:42 PM · #
Goodness. I hate CP, but I may have to revise my position.
— Peter Suderman · Jul 22, 08:12 PM · #
Owned is pretty bad, but you know how bad it is before adding it. Ditto Compare People, in my opinion. My least favorite apps are those that dupe you into adding them and then make you do significantly more than that to get the benefits. Chief among these: Send Muppets.
Given that things you “send” on Facebook are just images, I sort of assumed the supply of Muppets I could send would be unlimited, so I added the app—oblivious to the developer’s Nefarious Plan To Control Muppet Supply. To wit: After adding the app, you can choose to send one of four Muppets to friends. Only after you have made a certain number of transactions will four more Muppets be “unlocked” for you. (Where are the Muppets being stored before you “unlock” them, anyway? The Muppet Vault? The app doesn’t explain this part.)
Worse, the only four Muppets you get at first are Muppet Babies. Not only was Muppet Babies a lousy spinoff, it didn’t even feature real Muppets. It was animated, for pete’s sake. Forcing everyone to start out by sending Muppet Babies seems like unnecessary hazing to me, and the whole pyramid-scheme concept is shameful. Definitely the worst app.
— Dara · Jul 22, 08:45 PM · #