Whatevs Vulture Fusion

Many years ago I stumbled on the greatest blog in history, Whatevs.org, subhed: “piping hot content for your sexy bod,” if I recall correctly. “Uncle Grambo” created an amazing space-age patois that combined tween-speak with mid-90s-era fraternity argot, and the result was insanely euphonious. I was convinced that Grambo was a genius, and sure enough he’s been rising through the ranks of American media ever since. He has now replaced the brilliant Dan Kois as co-editor of New York‘s excellent Vulture. Now I can die a happy man.

I’ll say only this by way of complaint: while I appreciate the “comic stylings” of Amanda Bynes, and I don’t think it’s flatly absurd to call her the Lucille Ball of the Millennial Generation, though Anna Faris certainly has a strong claim to that or a related title, I can neither explain nor defend what strikes me as Uncle Grambo’s irrationally strong feelings about her. My money’s on Kat Dennings and Kristin Stewart, though I’ll admit that Dennings and Stewart both come across as worryingly one-note, at least for now. I’ve decided to blame this on Hollywood sexism for the moment, but there could be something else afoot. Note that Dennings and Stewart represent sharply different “types” — this is about talent, people.

P.S. Wait. I think I’ve just seen the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.