The Most Qualified Gubernatorial Candidate in History?
Lloyd Grove writes:
Where did Val Kilmer get the bright idea that he could ever be elected the governor of New Mexico? At 49, he’s an aging movie star who has logged lots of memorable screen time—as Ice Man in Top Gun, for instance—but zero political history.
Oh please, God, let Val Kilmer run for governor, and attempt to answer that criticism! Should that happen, I hope to hear him argue that he is the most qualified gubernatorial candidate in American history. After all, he possesses the military knowledge of a former air force pilot, the leadership skills of Moses, the charisma of a rock star, the crime-fighting bona fides of Batman, and experience as a CIA agent on a critical mission, not to mention other relevant bits of life experience to numerous to mention.
But wait, you say, aren’t you just alluding to acting roles Val Kilmer took on? Why yes! If you’re still confused as to why, you’ve missed out on one of the finest Hollywood profiles ever written.
I’ll turn things over to Chuck Klosterman, reporting from Val Kilmer’s ranch:
He’s weird in ways that are expected, and he’s weird in ways that are not. I anticipated that he might seem a little odd when we talked about acting, mostly because a) Kilmer is a Method actor, and b) all Method actors are insane. However, I did not realize how much insanity this process truly required. That started to become clear when I asked him about The Doors and Wonderland, two movies in which Kilmer portrays acutely self-destructive drug addicts. Late in Wonderland, he wordlessly (and desperately) waits for someone to offer him cocaine in a manner that seems excruciatingly authentic. I ask if he ever went through a drug phase for real. He says no. He says he’s never freebased cocaine in his life but that he understands the mind-set of addiction. The conversation evolves into a meditation on the emotional toll that acting takes on the artist. I ask him about the “toll” that he felt while making the 1993 western Tombstone. He starts talking about things that happened to Doc Holliday. I say, “No, no, you must have misunderstood me. I want to know about the toll it took on you.” He says, “I know, I’m talking about those feelings.” And this is the conversation that follows:
You mean you think you literally had the same experience as Doc Holliday?
Oh, sure. It’s not like I believed that I shot somebody, but I absolutely know what it feels like to pull the trigger and take someone’s life.
You understand how it feels to shoot someone as much as a person who has actually committed a murder?
I understand it more. It’s an actor’s job. A guy who’s lived through the horror of Vietnam has not spent his life preparing his mind for it. He’s some punk. Most guys were borderline criminal or poor, and that’s why they got sent to Vietnam. It was all the poor, wretched kids who got beat up by their dads, guys who didn’t get on the football team, couldn’t finagle a scholarship. They didn’t have the emotional equipment to handle that experience. But this is what an actor trains to do. I can more effectively represent that kid in Vietnam than a guy who was there.
I don’t question that you can more effectively represent it, but that’s not the same thing. If you were talking to someone who’s in prison for murder and the guy said, “Man, it really fucks you up to kill another person,” do you think you could reasonably say, “I completely know what you’re talking about”?
Oh yeah. I’d know what he’s talking about.
Let’s say someone made a movie about you—Val Kilmer—and they cast Jude Law in the lead role. By your logic, wouldn’t this mean that Jude Law—if he succeeded in the role—would therefore understand what it means to be Val Kilmer more than you do?
No, because I’m an actor. The people in those other circumstances don’t have the self-knowledge.
Well, what if it were a movie about your young life, before you became an actor?
I guess I’d have to say yes.
Okay, so let’s assume you had been given the lead role in The Passion of the Christ. Would you understand the feeling of being crucified as much as Jesus?
Well, I just played Moses [in a theatrical version of TheTen Commandments]. Of course.
So you understand the experience of being Moses? Maybe I’m just taking your words too literally.
No, I don’t think so. That’s what acting is.
So obviously Val Kilmer is qualified to be New Mexico’s governor. The real question is how long it will take until President Obama, now searching for empathetic Supreme Court candidates, will start contacting method actors.
Wow. Kilmer is one of my all-time faves, and I think Spartan was one of the most underrated movies of the past decade, but he’s definitely nuts. Of course, if you’d watched The Island of Dr. Moreau, behind the scenes of which he basically castrated John Frankenheimer and then proceeded—with nobody to stop him—to give one of the most batshit crazy performances in cinema history, then you’d know that he’s nuts. Though “I wanna go to dog heaven” is a pretty hilarious last line. And it also showed through on the Spartan DVD commentary, which was very entertaining even though (hell, because) it often veered into “mumbling hobo on bus bench” territory.
He does evidently have an abiding hatred from Tom Cruise, from his Top Gun days. At least that’s one note of sanity in his favor.
— Lev · May 13, 11:21 PM · #
Well, he is is the Lizard King after all.
— sidereal · May 13, 11:53 PM · #
I can see the bumper sticker now: “Kilmer: Your Wing-Man, Anytime!”
— Jeremiah · May 13, 11:55 PM · #
My brain-index is failing me at the moment, but somewhere or other I heard about a study of golfers that suggested that the best golfers tend to believe they are more capable than they actually are — for example, they take personal credit for feats that from a rational perspective were outside their control. The takeaway was that an irrational belief in one’s own abilities can be empowering.
— kenb · May 14, 12:38 AM · #
excellent article. I want to hate Klosterman so much, but he’s a great writer. I was never a huge Kilmer fan until Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, at which point I fully understood Advanced.
— Adam B · May 14, 02:39 AM · #
That Vietnam stuff is going to go over real well with the veterans’ groups.
— southpaw · May 14, 03:03 AM · #
Method acting is a sillie reason, but…empathy and communication are not.
Compare Reagan to say….Sarah Palin.
Would he run as a republican? You guyz need a hero.
I was thinking of Mad Martigan.
— matoko_chan · May 14, 12:23 PM · #
I like the idea that Kilmer is obliquely stating a fear that if acting is NOT what he says it is then it’s one big fatuous wank. After all, if what he says is true, then any sort of ‘acting’ that fell below that mark would be pretty artificial and self-indulgent by comparison. Why this realization would drive him into politics of all places is another layer of mystery.
— James · May 14, 12:28 PM · #
Conor: I am so, so happy to have you on the TAS team. This just made my day.
— Noah Millman · May 14, 01:28 PM · #
So what if I wrote a novel about Jude Law playing a young Val Kilmer? Would that cause the universe to explode?
— Tom_Meyer · May 14, 02:15 PM · #
Kilmer has done some amazing stuff. He’s never been the same since he did The Doors, though. I think that pushed him over the edge – though he was brilliant as Morrison. And yes, Mad Martigan is still one of my favorite rogues of all time. But yes, he’s a bit crazy. I saw him several years ago on Letterman (I think?) describing buffalo dances. I thought he was high.
But what does “qualified” really mean? Is that really how we judge our elected officials? Were any of the last three Presidents really “qualified” for the job? I don’t know. The better question is can he be taken seriously regardless; can he muster the proper charisma, and a talented staff?
— E.D. Kain · May 14, 02:17 PM · #
How original of you to post an interview that has already been proven to be fradulent. Mr. Kilmer has disputed the quotes that Klosterman attributed to him. If you check out snopes.com you will see that Esquire Magazine has a reputation for this kind of thing. If you want to write a story about Mr. Kilmer, check your facts otherwise you end up looking like just another rag…
— Michelle · May 14, 06:53 PM · #
Michelle, proven to be fraudulent? On the contrary, Esquire’s Editor in Chief released the following statement recently:
“The quotes attributed to Mr. Kilmer in Mr. Klosterman’s story are absolutely accurate. The interview was recorded and every quote used in the story was checked by our research department to insure that it was printed precisely as spoken.
It should be noted Mr. Kilmer did not dispute the validity of the quotations when the article was first published four years ago, nor did he dispute them when the article was reprinted in Mr. Klosterman’s fourth book, nor did he dispute them when the story appeared in Ira Glass’s anthology The New Kings of Nonfiction.
Sincerely,
David Granger
Editor in Chief
Esquire
— Conor Friedersdorf · May 14, 08:13 PM · #
Actors in politics? Why, I’ve never heard anything so absurd. I know the Republicans – serious, mature Republicans – would never in a million years run an actor as a candidate for any political office. Not even twice!
— Chet · May 14, 08:38 PM · #
Chet,
Or even more times that I can count off the top of my head:-)
— eric k · May 15, 03:13 AM · #
I wish Val Kilmer would run and win the NM gubernatorial election and then spend his entire time in office doing that same wicked Marlon Brando impression he did in the remake of The Island of Dr. Moreau.
— HP Stevens · May 15, 12:15 PM · #