Back to Fundamentals
Damn. Paul at Powerline really kicks my ass at explaining why the Obama speech in Cairo didn’t draw any objectionable moral equivalences. In order to sharpen my game, I’ll now pull an all-nighter drilling on fundamentals and scrimmaging at the secret blogger training gym that Andrew Sullivan maintains in his basement. I got my start there sweeping floors, back when Glenn Reynolds managed the place, and Robert Stacy McCain and Daniel Larison would heave a 50 pound medicine ball at one another for hours on end, both of them too stubborn to drink water first. RSM hated that Ross Douthat got big so fast—he always falsely attributed it to his fancy Gatorade.
My big break came after Megan McArdle, sneaking in through the backdoor to avoid a barrage of criticism from Freddie, saw aerobic room DVD librarian Peter Suderman and I sparring in the training ring, using the same iconic gloves that Sullivan and Reynolds used during the Bush era heavyweight grudge match that sent them their separate ways as surely as Ali and Frazier.
Peter and I must have been showing off some fine footwork, because both of us wound up invited to guest blog at Asymmetrical Information without even having to pass the html flashcard skills test required of full members (though we were required to meet with Jim Manzi, who calculates the most efficient training regimen for each blogger — Yglesias would spell perfectly today if he’d only stuck with the program instead of jumping early to the show). I’d tell you about how I met Reihan for the first time, but I bet he’d rather recount the history of his own rise. Besides, I’ve got to get over there before Ezra Klein, who hogs the damn free weights forever. See you tomorrow.
I appreciate the metaphor, but really, the kids are all about MMA these days, not old timey boxing. Gotta freshen up those references, Conor. Throw in something about getting Greenwald in a muy thai clinch, or that time Eugene Volokh caught you with a kimura and you couldn’t sign your own name for a week, and you’ll be golden.
“Next week, on the Ultimate Blogger, Ed Whelan and John Blevins settle their grudge in the octagon…”
— Erik Siegrist · Jun 9, 07:13 AM · #
“I’ll now pull an all-nighter drilling on fundamentals and scrimmaging at the secret blogger training gym that Andrew Sullivan maintains in his basement.”
I don’t know how to tell yo this, Conor, but that is most definite not a “blogger training gym” that Andy has in his basement, and whatever it is you were doing, it was most definitely not “blogger training.” And Megan was there? I’m shocked! Shocked! Hypersexualized decadence indeed!
Ethan! Eeeeethan! Come quick! You’ll want to see this!
— Tony Comstock · Jun 9, 10:55 AM · #
lol!
All is not lost, this is the first goodnatured funnie I have seen from the rightside in forever.
But you did neglect PEG’s french kickboxing and Goldberg’s Kra Maga Korner.
— matoko_chan · Jun 9, 12:39 PM · #
PEG’s not a kickboxer. He’s a sniper, and expert with a knife for up-close work.
— Tony Comstock · Jun 9, 12:42 PM · #
Haha, Tony is right as usual.
I was the captain of my fencing team in undergrad.
Epee is my weapon of choice, but lately it seems I mostly have to use a clue-by-four.
>:(
— matoko_chan · Jun 9, 12:56 PM · #
My college instructor had fenced saber for the Chinese national team. I still have fond and vivid memories of taking the strip with him, and then having him close and strike faster than my eyes could change their focus distance, let alone my body having any sort of reaction. Even fencing from his knees, I couldn’t score on him, and he scored virtually at will.
— Tony Comstock · Jun 9, 01:19 PM · #
I don’t know how to tell yo this, Conor, but that is most definite not a “blogger training gym” that Andy has in his basement, and whatever it is you were doing, it was most definitely not “blogger training.” And Megan was there? I’m shocked! Shocked! Hypersexualized decadence indeed!
You just wish you had been there to film it. You unrepentant pornographer, you.
— Freddie · Jun 9, 02:41 PM · #
“You just wish you had been there to film it”
Um, no.
My wife and I have maintain certain standards for the physical and (as best as we can assertain) emotional safety of the subjects of our films. These hi-jinx in Sullies “blogger training gym” don’t begin to meet our standards. Not nearly.
But if PEG starts bringing his fiancee, I am so there. Sans camera, of course; and only if someone frisks PEG at the door to see that he doesn’t have that knife of his!
— Tony Comstock · Jun 9, 03:18 PM · #