Conor's Reform Guide to Wedding Etiquette
Attire for the bridal party is a particularly fraught topic at modern weddings — it is proper that the bride choose a color palette for her nuptials, and that the bridesmaid dresses conform to it, but we regard the tradition of picking a single style for every member of the bridal party to be outmoded. One’s closest friends invariably differ in body type. A cut that flatters one woman can easily render another uncomfortable standing on an altar before a crowd of friends and strangers.
Our preferred solution is a dress that is available in various cuts, allowing each bridesmaid to flatter their form while maintaining a degree of uniformity befitting the occasion.
In our estimation the bride’s decision to respect the stylistic preferences of her friends only accentuated her enjoyment of the wedding day.
(Note to commenters — I will ruthlessly delete any critical remarks about the women pictured in the photograph above. An etiquette guide demands civilized behavior if is to survive.)
How about admiring remarks?
— Freddie · Aug 11, 10:21 PM · #
What about the dudes? Can we say bad things about them?
— Kristoffer V. Sargent · Aug 11, 10:23 PM · #
Dude, your wife looks amazing. Congratulations. My wife went with red dresses in individually-chosen cuts as well for her bridesmaids, and it worked wonderfully. Best of luck!
— Erik Vanderhoff · Aug 11, 10:32 PM · #
To be clear, I am not the groom in the photo above. My use of the editorial we is merely accepted practice in the reform wedding etiquette blogger community.
— Conor Friedersdorf · Aug 11, 10:49 PM · #
That’s quite the versatile dress.
— Chet · Aug 11, 11:03 PM · #
Seven bridesmaids?
How about a new etiquette rule: unless you’re royalty, you can have no more than four males and four females in your wedding party.
— symeon · Aug 11, 11:22 PM · #
i was going to leave admiring comments :-)
— razib · Aug 11, 11:24 PM · #
Uh, okay. Then your wife doesn’t look amazing and I don’t congratulate you? WTF.
— Erik Vanderhoff · Aug 11, 11:55 PM · #
To be clear, I am not the groom in the photo above.
Whew! I was going to have to totally chide you for poor Facebook updating.
— Tom Meyer · Aug 12, 01:34 AM · #
You’re writing about bridesmaid dresses now? Dude, hand over your man-card. . .
— Joe Carter · Aug 12, 03:08 AM · #
Must have been a pretty big altar for all those people to stand on top of it.
— EAS · Aug 12, 03:51 AM · #
Would you mind identifying the mystery bridal party?
— southpaw · Aug 12, 03:51 AM · #
Joe Carter for the win!
— Will · Aug 12, 04:36 AM · #
EAS: right, ho. There’s a rather important difference between one standing “at the altar” and “on the altar”, which concerns what is likely about to happen to one.
— Ethan C. · Aug 12, 04:44 AM · #
I pity you.
— cw · Aug 12, 05:00 AM · #
Wait a minute. Now I’m confused. Which one of you was marrying Megan McCardle? Freidersdof or Suderman?
— cw · Aug 12, 05:03 AM · #
Somehow this made me come up with half a joke where Ezra Klein and Ross Douthat break off their engagement for religious reasons.
— Blar · Aug 12, 12:18 PM · #
Conor is actually having a life partnering ceremony with Robert Stacy McCain on Sunday.
— Freddie · Aug 12, 12:57 PM · #
I just got married in Mexico, and that’s how they do it here: the bride gives a piece of fabric to each bridesmaid, who is then free to have a seamstress make their dress however they like, but using the fabric.
— pc · Aug 12, 01:30 PM · #
1) I lean towards uniform dresses if it can be accomplished, but the CF solution is good if there is no one dress that will flatter all brides.
2) Any ettiquette guide that is accompanied by pictures of pretty women in congenial circumstances is likely to be a hit.
3) Are we still waiting for Conor to explain why he was posting what appeared to be old travel e-mail, or did I miss the conclusion?
— J Mann · Aug 12, 06:42 PM · #