What is a Hipster?

Am I one? John Guardiano says so. It’s a charge I can’t answer in a lengthy rebuttal, so I asked around.

Most people scoffed.

— “Your writing is far too earnest to be hipster. Sometimes to a fault. And I wouldn’t have bought those particular glasses.”

— “Maybe if you start letting Julian Sanchez dress you.”

— “Hipsters don’t like Jimmy Buffett.”

— “Are you kidding me?”

These were my friends, so I didn’t ask my enemies. I just weakly said, “Does having a crush on Natalie Portman help?” But then I didn’t know if I should’ve said Wynona Rider or something.

I’d put money on my not being a hipster, but I don’t mind if I am one. Some of my best friends are hipsters! But I am quite certain that Mr. Guardiano doesn’t know what a hipster is if Ross Douthat is among the trio to whom he applies the label, and Michael Brendan Dougherty is too. I half expected to see George Will on the list with us.

Perhaps Brooklyn resident Elizabeth Nolan Brown could define hipster for me. Or Beck could guest post here at The Scene. He’s a hipster, right?