Contractually Obligated to Wear an Eye Patch and Always Be A Badass

The Vulture has details on the probably unnecessary Escape From New York remake. The best part concerns the agreement that John Carpenter, who directed the original, made New Line sign before putting together a new version of the film:

And more importantly, good ol’ Snake remains largely the same. Legally, he has to be. We learned that in order to land the rights, New Line had to sign a contract with John Carpenter stipulating, among other things, that Plissken “must be called ‘Snake’”; “must wear an eye patch”; and that he would — and we’re not making this up — “always be a ‘bad-ass.’”; So, if you ever catch the new Snake watching Grey’s Anatomy or complaining that the senator isn’t “emotionally available,” just know that somewhere, some poor development exec is about to be carted off to jail.