Everything you need to know about the Old Ones
Who is Cthulhu?
In his house at R’lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.
In his house at R’lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.
In his house at R’lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.
In his house at R’lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.
What is the relationship between the Old Ones and the shoggoth?
A 1931 study by the scientific faculty at Miskatonic University found that the shoggoth were the creations of Old Ones. The shoggoth served the Old Ones and built their cities but catastrophe befell them.
What effect does Cthulhu have on mental health?
A 1926 study from the Department of Semitic Languages at Brown University documented multiple cases of men driven beyond insanity by encountering fetishes or dreams of Cthulhu. The study suggests that attempting to grasp the inconceivable power of the Old Ones and their complete indifference to human welfare suggests the utter meaninglessness of existence that shatters the psyche.
Does Obamacare affect Cthulhu?
A 2011 report by the Congressional Budget Office attempted to answer this question. It found that the entirety of human existence is just a transient incident that cannot be leavened by bland optimism about bending cost curves. Following the study, fourteen health economists were committed to the Walter Reed Army Medical Center where they remain catatonic in horror at the realization that the universe is incomprehensible and our own place within it of infinitessimal inconsequentiality.
You didn’t answer my question!
This is very much a work in progress. It will continue to be updated as events unfold, new research gets published, and fresh questions emerge.
So if you have additional questions or comments or quibbles or complaints, go to the swamp and seek out the company of very low, mixed-blooded, and mentally aberrant types and join their ecstatic chanting of “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.”
