They Drew First Blood, Not Me
There’s a new Rambo movie coming out this weekend, and I, for one, am excited. There’s just something about big, dumb, brutish muscle-movies that makes me grin. Sure, I like art films, and experimental cinema, and Godard movies. I must have spent three hours watching the Dada shorts when the exhibit came to the National Gallery in 2005.
But as much as that sort of thing is near and dear to me, the reason I became a film fan wasn’t because of highbrow cinema. Now, the Rambo films don’t even really count as genuinely great popcorn films (the original Die Hard is still far and away the best straightforward action flick), but, like their protagonist, they’re gruff, quiet, sturdy, and grimly effective. And from the looks of things, that’s how the new one turned out too.
Rambo is not screening for DC critics, but this, from Harry Knowles, is pretty much exactly what I want to hear about a new Rambo movie:
So basically – you know the story. Missionaries are fucked – Rambo and the mercs go to save them… the plan gets fucked… and then the screen turns into a bloody fourth of July. You remember Sam Mendes’ JARHEAD? Remember where they have everyone watching the Flight of the Valkyries sequence of APOCALYPSE NOW? Well – the last 50 minutes or so of this film are the sort of thing – that no amount of First Person Shooter game playing can give you. It’s an adrenal orgasm. It makes you want to fire fireworks and scream, “FUCK YEAH!”
And then there’s this amazing, amazing red-band trailer (warning: violent, NSFW, etc.):
UPDATE — Via Jeffrey Overstreet, the Rambo per-minute kill count. The new one reaches almost 3 kills a minute!
Actually, a colleague of mine in the DC area said he heard only two days ago that there was going to be a screening today. It was all very last-minute — up until this week, there weren’t going to be any screenings — but apparently Lionsgate had a sudden change of heart and decided to let the press in.
— Peter T Chattaway · Jan 24, 06:13 AM · #
Weird. I must have mediocre press contacts, because I wasn’t notified (this is not really that surprising). Ah well; it’s a movie I kind of want to see on opening night with the fans anyway.
— Peter Suderman · Jan 24, 03:38 PM · #
I am of the opinion that the “best straightforward action flick,” is The Professional. You can watch it for the ass-whuppin’, which there’s lots of and it’s good. But it’s all intellekshual and shit, so you don’t have to hide it behind your other DVDs like you have to with that Van Damme flick.
— Sanjay · Jan 24, 04:09 PM · #
Now, I love The Professional, but there’s simply not enough action — even in the European cut — for it to really count. You have the opening takedown, a few training sequences and tense moments in the middle, and that jaw-dropping finale. But that’s just not enough actual action. It’s all build up. The film is as much a relationship movie as it is an action flick.
And by the way, I proudly display my copy of Death Wish 2 on the shelf next to the rest of my DVDs.
— Peter Suderman · Jan 24, 05:11 PM · #
Yeah, I had high hopes for The Transporter. Which, by the way, did satisfy on the “major-over-the-top-ass-whuppin’” score. But it didn’t have the highbrow thing. At the other extreme there’s a movie featuring both Van Damme and ice hockey — Sudden Death? — which wasn’t as ass-whuppin’ as you’d think from that pairing.
— Sanjay · Jan 25, 01:26 AM · #