when I come to be old
When the great satirist Jonathan Swift was twenty-two, in 1699, he made a set of resolutions under the heading “when I come to be old” — that is, things he wanted to remember to do, or not to do, in his fading years. I don’t know what Swift would have considered “old,” but as someone who just turned fifty, I am feeling rather archaic, so I am trying to take Swift’s resolutions to heart:
- Not to marry a young Woman.
- Not to keep young Company unless they reely desire it.
- Not to be peevish or morose, or suspicious.
- Not to scorn present Ways, or Wits, or Fashions, or Men, or War, &c.
- Not to be fond of Children, or let them come near me hardly.
- Not to tell the same story over and over to the same People.
- Not to be covetous.
- Not to neglect decency, or cleenlyness, for fear of falling into Nastyness.
- Not to be over severe with young People, but give Allowances for their youthfull follyes and weaknesses.
- Not to be influenced by, or give ear to knavish tatling servants, or others.
- Not to be too free of advise, nor trouble any but those that desire it.
- To desire some good Friends to inform me wch of these Resolutions I break, or neglect, and wherein; and reform accordingly.
- Not to talk much, nor of my self.
- Not to boast of my former beauty, or strength, or favor with Ladyes, &c.
- Not to hearken to Flatteryes, nor conceive I can be beloved by a young woman, et eos qui hereditatem captant, odisse ac vitare.
- Not to be positive or opiniative.
- Not to sett up for observing all these Rules; for fear I should observe none.
The good gentleman knew a thing or two: Nor are we surprised by his healthful insights.
At 65, I think he pretty well nails it.
I am unable (unwilling?) to imagine a more thorough tabulation.
Wise beyond his years, he was: And current too.
— felix culpa · Oct 26, 06:25 AM · #
Do you have a translation for “et eos qui hereditatem captant, odisse ac vitare”? Was he hiding an indelicate thought behind Latin? Inquiring minds want to etc., etc.
— eitenk · Oct 27, 08:25 PM · #
It sounds like Swift had an acquaintance or two of the age to which these rules applied – and was writing from experience…
— Jonathan · Oct 30, 12:47 PM · #
“Do you have a translation for “et eos qui hereditatem captant, odisse ac vitare”? Was he hiding an indelicate thought behind Latin? Inquiring minds want to etc., etc.”
I think it’s from Juvenal. Translation: “and to hate and shun those who strive after inheritances”…that is to say, flatterers, parasites, and legacy hunters. It’s an old Roman trope.
— ERM · Oct 31, 11:29 AM · #